The Wedding Memoir: Superficial Worries

As much as I hate it, I realised I too fell a victim to those one-perfect-wedding-day idea shoved by the wedding industry. I’m thankful I have positive communities to keep my head steady, but yes, at some point of my wedding preparation time, I worried about the most superficial things that I never imagined worrying before.

I had a rather unsuccessful makeup and hair trial and that drove me insane. But the more annoying issue was the one I had with the wedding dress! I was against renting (usually in Indonesia, bridal salons rent the dresses too) because it often costs a lot to rent one ! And the ones for rental are generally too over-the-top to my liking. Plus, I thought I would like to reuse my wedding dress and wear it again on our wedding anniversary or other events. I went dress shopping for the first time in October 2008 right after our engagement. I found a dress that I really love in a small boutique in Kuala Lumpur. It was a simple off-white empire line and very inexpensive (RM 388 or around US$108). And then after many complains from the family about how the dress was probably too simple for weddings , I decided to get another one made.

I went to a seamstress in ITC Mangga Dua around March 2009 and told her the style that I want , etc.
Unfortunately, choosing her wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made. She was so concerned about making money that she quickly did the measuring and wrote me the invoice. She was in such a hurried state on closing the deals as dozens other customers were lining up for their dresses ! Admittedly, she was quite good. But because of this, she didn’t do a proper check on what I really want and need. I forgot to inform her that I’ll be wearing high heeled shoes.

Around April 2009, I was notified that the dress is done, and surprise, the skirt was too short ! Not much can be done about this, so disappointedly, I took the one-shoulder bodice top and contacted another seamstress in ITC Mangga Dua that seemed more attentive and I told her that I want a skirt to be made. The result was much better however, albeit with careful choosing of color swatch, we didn’t get the color right because the material was different. The top was made of satin, while the skirt was Shandong silk. The skirt color was more cream than off-white. I was still not happy with this. The hoop-skirt (petticoat) wasn’t right, the color wasn’t right and I was devastated.

I returned to the seamstress the week after, by then, the calendar has shifted to June 2009. She tightened the bodice as apparently I lost quite a lot of weight during wedding planning (must be the stress), and then she removed one of the bone in the hoopskirt and fix the width, and then when I thought I looked much better in the dress, I went home.

Still, I was worried that ya know … maybe this wasn’t “THE DRESS”.

People kept telling me that if that was “THE DRESS”, I would have known, I’d get some sort of a divine signal , a tearful eyes as I saw my bride-self in the mirror! But I didn’t , I never had that kind of insight, epiphany or whatever you call it. I just sort of accepted the fact that I have not much time left to find another dress and that I’ve spent too much time and money on that dress anyway! Although my dress is still considerably cheap – after all the crazy alterations and such it still costs me only about US$ 150.. I was exhausted from the whole dress ordeal and I couldn’t bear the thought of having made dresses that I will never use. So I wholeheartedly decided to wear the dress to my wedding anyway.

A day before the wedding day, I got the hoop-skirt ironed and the dress re-ironed. And on the wedding day, somehow, it became the perfect dress ! I didn’t know how that happened , but it just happened ! I felt pretty and I felt like a bride! It dawned on me that the dress didn’t really matter after all. It still is about the commitment you made with your significant others. Imperfect dress shouldn’t really deter you from having a good time in your wedding day. I’m glad I didn’t go crazy and find another dress, the dress was absolutely right for me.

As for the simpler dress that I got from a boutique in KL? I decided to wear it for the reception ! Nobody complained about the dress being too simple and not pretty enough ! I love how I can move around in this dress easily, allowing me to mingle with my friends and other guests throughout the reception.

I shouldn’t have to worry too much about not having that one perfect dress, or about having that one perfect wedding. The perfection of your wedding day doesn’t necessarily translate to a perfect marriage anyway. And most importantly, I should learn how to avoid pushy seamstresses or salespeople.

My perfectly imperfect dress:
The one-shoulder bodice was one of the reason why I insisted on having my dress made, I don’t see such design that often in this world of strapless wedding gowns.
The reception dress:

Much thanks to Richard, Irene and Steven for the pictures.
ps: The nice seamstress’ name is Hanny from Hanny Fashion in ITC Mangga Dua, lantai 1 Blok B40 , Jakarta. A bit of extra information, my fabulous cream colored veil I wore in the morning was made by Theresia Vivi from Sekolah Menjahit Vivi near Pasimal, Jababeka! Who would’ve thought, eh?


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