The Wedding Memoir: Superficial Worries

As much as I hate it, I realised I too fell a victim to those one-perfect-wedding-day idea shoved by the wedding industry. I’m thankful I have positive communities to keep my head steady, but yes, at some point of my wedding preparation time, I worried about the most superficial things that I never imagined worrying before.

I had a rather unsuccessful makeup and hair trial and that drove me insane. But the more annoying issue was the one I had with the wedding dress! I was against renting (usually in Indonesia, bridal salons rent the dresses too) because it often costs a lot to rent one ! And the ones for rental are generally too over-the-top to my liking. Plus, I thought I would like to reuse my wedding dress and wear it again on our wedding anniversary or other events. I went dress shopping for the first time in October 2008 right after our engagement. I found a dress that I really love in a small boutique in Kuala Lumpur. It was a simple off-white empire line and very inexpensive (RM 388 or around US$108). And then after many complains from the family about how the dress was probably too simple for weddings , I decided to get another one made.

I went to a seamstress in ITC Mangga Dua around March 2009 and told her the style that I want , etc.
Unfortunately, choosing her wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made. She was so concerned about making money that she quickly did the measuring and wrote me the invoice. She was in such a hurried state on closing the deals as dozens other customers were lining up for their dresses ! Admittedly, she was quite good. But because of this, she didn’t do a proper check on what I really want and need. I forgot to inform her that I’ll be wearing high heeled shoes.

Around April 2009, I was notified that the dress is done, and surprise, the skirt was too short ! Not much can be done about this, so disappointedly, I took the one-shoulder bodice top and contacted another seamstress in ITC Mangga Dua that seemed more attentive and I told her that I want a skirt to be made. The result was much better however, albeit with careful choosing of color swatch, we didn’t get the color right because the material was different. The top was made of satin, while the skirt was Shandong silk. The skirt color was more cream than off-white. I was still not happy with this. The hoop-skirt (petticoat) wasn’t right, the color wasn’t right and I was devastated.

I returned to the seamstress the week after, by then, the calendar has shifted to June 2009. She tightened the bodice as apparently I lost quite a lot of weight during wedding planning (must be the stress), and then she removed one of the bone in the hoopskirt and fix the width, and then when I thought I looked much better in the dress, I went home.

Still, I was worried that ya know … maybe this wasn’t “THE DRESS”.

People kept telling me that if that was “THE DRESS”, I would have known, I’d get some sort of a divine signal , a tearful eyes as I saw my bride-self in the mirror! But I didn’t , I never had that kind of insight, epiphany or whatever you call it. I just sort of accepted the fact that I have not much time left to find another dress and that I’ve spent too much time and money on that dress anyway! Although my dress is still considerably cheap – after all the crazy alterations and such it still costs me only about US$ 150.. I was exhausted from the whole dress ordeal and I couldn’t bear the thought of having made dresses that I will never use. So I wholeheartedly decided to wear the dress to my wedding anyway.

A day before the wedding day, I got the hoop-skirt ironed and the dress re-ironed. And on the wedding day, somehow, it became the perfect dress ! I didn’t know how that happened , but it just happened ! I felt pretty and I felt like a bride! It dawned on me that the dress didn’t really matter after all. It still is about the commitment you made with your significant others. Imperfect dress shouldn’t really deter you from having a good time in your wedding day. I’m glad I didn’t go crazy and find another dress, the dress was absolutely right for me.

As for the simpler dress that I got from a boutique in KL? I decided to wear it for the reception ! Nobody complained about the dress being too simple and not pretty enough ! I love how I can move around in this dress easily, allowing me to mingle with my friends and other guests throughout the reception.

I shouldn’t have to worry too much about not having that one perfect dress, or about having that one perfect wedding. The perfection of your wedding day doesn’t necessarily translate to a perfect marriage anyway. And most importantly, I should learn how to avoid pushy seamstresses or salespeople.

My perfectly imperfect dress:
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The one-shoulder bodice was one of the reason why I insisted on having my dress made, I don’t see such design that often in this world of strapless wedding gowns.
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The reception dress:
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Much thanks to Richard, Irene and Steven for the pictures.
ps: The nice seamstress’ name is Hanny from Hanny Fashion in ITC Mangga Dua, lantai 1 Blok B40 , Jakarta. A bit of extra information, my fabulous cream colored veil I wore in the morning was made by Theresia Vivi from Sekolah Menjahit Vivi near Pasimal, Jababeka! Who would’ve thought, eh?

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33 Days : and very tired bride & groom

Whooaa, long time no post. We’re currently very exhausted from all the nest cleaning and moving activities. Yet, we’re still far from done.
Erwin has moved all his stuffs to our new nest, while I only moved one plastic cabinet and a small cupboard. Super confused with what to keep and what to toss, if my mum sees my dorm now, she’d say it looks like shipwrecks (“kapal pecah”).
Furnishing the nest is also a major trouble, what we found were merely , a bed, a wardrobe, 7 light bulbs and a red curtain with a slightly wrong size. No dining tables whatsoever. But at least we got the mosquitoes net fixed.
Rawwrrr.. that means the search needs to continue this week. And hmm … Erwin thought the house is kind of haunted – but that’s a whole different blog post.

Sneak peek to our invitation:
ourinvi
Our beloved wedding logo MUST be incorporated in the invitation ! Yes, we have sheep-themed wedding !
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The wording, it looks long because it’s bilingual.
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So this was the result of several days of fiddling with Adobe Photoshop, dozens time of proof-reading and measuring every single milimeter. Phewww …

Stay tuned …

My Best Friend’s Wedding

What a day it was ! Sang pengantin wanita dirias berjam-jam, saya paling ga ngerti, kenapa sih harus selama itu ? Saya sih bisa setres minta ampun deh. Dari jam 8, selesai rias kira-kira pukul 1.30 siang. Pemberkatan pernikahan jam 3 dan lokasinya sedikit keluar dari kota Manado. Ck ck ck … Salonnya terlihat sedikit panik juga, karena begitu jam menunjukkan pukul 1, masih ada pagar ayu dan anggota keluarga yang belum digarap +_+. Mulai spaneng semua deh.

Setelah selesai semua pun ngebut ke lokasi pemberkatan. Acara molor setengah jam. Kemudian selesainya pun mundur kurang lebih 1 jam dari yang diperkirakan.
Oya, waktu pemberkatan. Tiba-tiba saya melihat sesuatu yang salah. OhmyGawd !! Baju pengantin wanita kok jadi agak pink-pink gitu ??? Ternyata buket yang dibawa luntur ke baju +_+ . Ada-ada aja. Tapi ya sudah, the show must go on. Saat kembali ke bridal salon untungnya mereka tahu cara mengatasi noda pink di baju (Bayclin kuncinya!).

Kemudian, kembali acara kebut-kebutan berlangsung karena resepsi dimulai jam 6.30 pm. Keluarga lari-lari ke rumah untuk mengambil suvenir-suvenir dan buku tamu, dan phewww … 06.30 untungnya semua sudah siap di lokasi. Setelah segala macam kepanikan, ada lagi … tamu-tamunya ga dateng-dateng bo ! Ngaret abiisssss… pas pengantin memasuki ruang resepsi pada pukul 8 malam, masih sedikit tamu =(. Anehnya, tidak lama kemudian, ruang resepsi penuh nuh ! Semua hadir… pheww ..lega lagi deh. Setelah segala macam prosesi dll-dll-nya, makan malam pun dimulai pukul 8.30 pm. Ya ampuunn …lapernyya … untung resepsi ala Manado selalu ada Klappertaart(*)-nya. Haha, jadi tanpa pikir panjang lagi, langsung saya samber klappertaart sebelum makan nasi ato lauk lainnya.

Foto-foto:

Proses transformasi:
Sebelum:
smaller_beforewedding_gladiresik
Sesudah dimakeup berjam-jam
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Pas pemberkatan:
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Catatan sipil:
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Resmi nih !
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Memasuki tempat resepsi:
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Dan tentunya kami selalu menyempatkan untuk berfoto-foto:
smaller_frens_sedona

Congratulations to Kevin and Icha ! All’s well that ends well !


(*) Klappertaart : makanan pencuci mulut, seperti vla puding tapi lebih tebal dan diisi dengan kelapa muda, biasanya dipanggang sebentar di oven dengan almond, dan kismis. Disajikan dingin slurrppp…
Tingkat keenakan : sangat tinggi ^^.

58 days to our wedding

A_Kiss

Updates:

– Booked one “special” entertainment ! Yay ! Yay !

– Sandy and the pompom machines will begin their pompom making craze this Saturday 09.00 am.

– Cupcakes for tea ceremony snacks!

and still many other things to do.. hopefully everything can be done in time! Wish us luck !!

Some of my favoritest wedding pics everr

I’m forever in love with weddings that look like a simple and fun celebration. Nothing too elaborate, just lots and lots of fun. I like how some brides can appear beautiful yet ever so simple. I want to be one of them!

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Helen and Dom’s wedding

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This is a bride with her father. I think I found this picture from this site : www.apracticalwedding.com , the bride gathered flowers for her bouquet herself. I think she looks awesome
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Remember the lovely Vivian Chow? She got married earlier this year in a private ceremony at the age of 41 ! She still looks as gorgeous.

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I can’t remember where I found the picture above, but they sure look happy!

Oh, the wedding picture below is sorta what sells Puri and Friends ! The couple is Japanese and the wedding was held in Bali. In most Indonesian weddings, the wedding cake is never meant to be eaten, it’s just for photos. And God forbid anyone should mess up with the cake! It has to look perfect for pictureess ! So they opted for fake cakes with like 12 tiers. After they ‘cut’ the cake, usually they feed each other with a tinyyyyy teennyyyy slice of cake, cos if the slice is too big, it could mess up the bride and groom’s elegant look. Haha ! Complicated huh? But this couple, opted for the real stuff! Yay !

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And I like fun weddings that don’t translate to big budget too

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2000DollarWedding is such an inspiration.

Hmmm ^^

67 Days to go!

To be done and currently in progress:

– Invitations(currently on the print)

– Table numbers

– Wrapping favors

– Wedding itineraries & programs for everyone

– Entertainment issues and such

– Pompoms for decorations (note to self: must start making these stuffs!

– Marriage license stuffs (most important yet most complex !)

– Health check and vaccination so we can show the government that we’re healthy enough and hence eligible for marriage (part of the license requirements)

– On Saturday, need to get official letters from our Buddhist temples in Jakarta to state that somehow we really are Buddhists. Another requirements to be able to get married.

In the next 10 years, the marriage requirements for Indonesians may include things like declarations of assets and properties – if you have nothing probably you cannot get married , or even letters to declare what sorts of pets you both agreed on and the permitted maximum number of pets per household.

– Of course, the most important one ever : the nest ! We have no proper nest.

Completed:

– Decorator

– Venue

– Caterers

– Videographer

– Photographers

– Book stylists for bride, MoB, MoG, Aunties, Grandmas, MoH and bridesmaids.

– Officiant

– The rings

– Groom’s and Bestman’s suit

– Purchased favors

Yikes ! We can do it ! Go ! Go !

Catatan Sipil yang Menyusahkan

Setelah sebulan menyerahkan dokumen-dokumen yang diperlukan untuk menikah, baru kami ketahui kalau dokumen-dokumen tersebut kurang. Ternyata Magelang punya aturan main yang agak berbeda. Kami harus menunjukkan surat keterangan sehat ( emang orang sakit ngga boleh nikah ya ?) dan calon mempelai wanita harus divaksinasi anti Tetanus. Ok, pada dasarnya saya dan banyak orang lainnya ngga suka sama yang namanya vaksinasi2an, tapi ya sudahlah, vaksinasi pemaksaan ada sisi positifnya juga.

Yang paling mengganggu adalah keharusan menunjukkan SBKRI (Surat Bukti Kewarganegaraan Republik Indonesia). Waktu saya dengar ini langsung naik darah deh, apa-apaan ?? Kami berdua lahir dengan status warga negara, kedua orangtua juga semua sudah WNI saat mereka menikah dulu, tidak ada yang WNA sama sekali. Dari akte kelahiranlah, KTPlah (yang jelas-jelas tertera bahwa kami adalah WNI), Paspor lah semuanya juga sudah jelas-jelas menunjukkan kalau kami adalah warga negara Indonesia. Surat Bukti apalagi ? Ini adalah saat-saat saya bingung dengan negara kita ini, yang konon telah melenyapkan segala macam tindak diskriminasi ras , agama, dll dll nya.

Let me quote you dasar hukumnya (maklum dosen), bagian dari Instruksi Presiden no. 4 tahun 1999, dikeluarkan oleh mantan Presiden BJ Habibie:

“Dengan keluarnya Keputusan Presiden Nomor 56 Tahun 1996 tertanggal 9 Juli 1996,
semua peraturan perundang-undangan yang untuk kepentingan tertentu
mensyaratkan Surat Bukti Kewarganegaraan Republik Indonesia (SBKRI),
dinyatakan tidak berlaku lagi; “

Bertahun-tahun setelah semua Keppres dan Inpres ini dikeluarkan, kenapa kok kami masih diminta SBKRI lagi ?

Referensi lain:

http://www.sinarharapan.co.id/berita/0612/13/opi01.html

http://www.suaramerdeka.com/harian/0411/03/nas05.htm

Say no to SBKRI ! Say no to racial discriminations !